my two cents for those who want change

Call me old fashioned...

2010-10-08T11:52:00.001-07:00

but blogspot's format pisses me off.

You Are LITERALLY Misusing That Word

2010-09-30T11:16:00.000-07:00

Here it is...the pinnacle of my criticism of American colloquial language. I might implode from the built-up anticipation of this entry. Literally.

Americans, or more specifically, Californians misuse the word 'literally' so rampantly that it has become nothing short of an epidemic. Here I will provide some examples of how I have heard it used on a daily basis:

1) 'It is literally raining so hard right now. It is literally raining cats and dogs.'

2) 'We are literally going to have to pull these dresses out of our asses.'

3 'I literally died, it was so awkward.'

Actually...no, it's not literally raining cats and dogs outside because if it were, we'd have a problem far more serious than global warming, and no, you are not going to literally pull dresses out of your ass - that would quite frankly be very painful if not entirely physically impossible and no, you did not literally die because you are, in fact, still here and still misusing that word.

The great thing about the incessant misuse of the word literally (which lacks complexity in all honesty, it isn't as if I'm faulting people for misusing the word 'paradox'), is that people of all levels of society, educational backgrounds, and income brackets are guilty as charged. The misconstrued definition of the word literally does not discriminate.

Let's observe what the Third Edition of the American Heritage College Dictionary has to say about our best friend, 'literally':

adv. 1) In a literal manner; word for word. 2) In a literal or strict sense; Don't take my remarks literally. 3) Usage problem. a. Really; actually. b. Used as an intensive before a figurative expression.

Wait a minute. Used as an intensive before a figurative expression?

Now let's observe the same dictionary's definition of the word, 'literal':

adj. 1. Conforming or limited to the simplest, nonfigurative, or most obvious meaning of a word or words.

Hold on a sec. Did that defiinition just include the word nonfigurative??? Weird! That would make pairing the word literally with a figurative expression kind of like an oxymoron. Or just entirely wrong and inexplicably obnoxious.

The word literally means direct. Actual. Factual. It is what it is - no more, no less. You can't get more direct than that. But it's been abused, misinterpreted, and as if I haven't said it enough - misused. I know this may sound nit-picky and at worst, petty, but...I think the ceaseless misuse of this word ties into my disdain for how, in American culture, it is okay to be and sound uneducated. It's not okay to use your first language improperly. When does it stop? When do we draw the line? I think it defeats the whole purpose of having various words with different meanings if we're eventually just going to get them all intermingled.

Just some food for thought. Literally.

Speaking (or writing?) ironically, perhaps my next attack will be launched on the confusion surrounding irony and coincidence. NOT the same.

France's Ban on the Islamic Veil

2010-08-20T10:22:00.000-07:00

OK, so I'm about a couple months late on this one, but what else is new.

I'm going to start off by saying that I'm not necessarily personally behind France's legal decisions to ban wearing Islamic veils in public - I am not a French national and thus lack the insight into the extent to which the wearing of these veils affects French society.

The thing to note about French society (that most Americans are unfamiliar with) is the strong sense of national identity. This isn't a stab against the United States but more an observation - for example, I don't feel any sameness with someone from Texas or New York. Our country is too large by sheer size and population to really say that we share one distinguishable culture. In France, things are a bit different - regardless of where you come from, what your ethnic or religious background is, if you choose to live as a French national, you are French above everything else.

And I think that on some level, we have to respect that.

As someone who was born and raised in the United States (I'm avoiding the use of 'American' because that technically includes all those on this continent, including South and Central America - just saying), my first instinct was to reject France's endeavor as wrong, petty, and Islamophobic. But our different concepts of national identity are really what come into play here; this is less about religious freedom and more about an attempt at preserving national identity than what first meets the eye. I think Americans are a lot less sensitive to France's desire to preserve a national culture because we lack one ourselves, and again, I don't mean this in a condescending way. When I stop and think about what it means to do something "un-American", I can't really think of anything except maybe respecting the sovereignty of other countries and playing fair, but those are stories for another day.

Another thing to note is that if we as "Westerners" visited Muslim countries, we'd be expected to observe and respect societal norms, as we should. For example, I wouldn't insist on entering a mosque wearing shorts and a t-shirt - it's just disrespectful. While I recognize the difference between a private place of worship and a public space in a democratic state, there is an overarching theme here that I am trying to touch upon.

In an increasingly globalizing and in some ways homogenizing world, there are going to be attempts at preserving national cultures. I think there are parties in France that are guilty of being anti-Muslim, but I don't think that is necessarily what is behind this recent legislation. France has been nothing short of vehement in maintaining a secular society since it freed itself from the Catholic Church - Jews and Christians are discouraged from openly displaying their religion at all levels of society in France. The difference with the Islamic veils is that the government is trying to make it illegal and punishable by law to wear them, which I admit, isn't something I agree with.

I don't personally have anything against those who choose to wear Islamic veils - I think it is ignorant for people to assume that women are forced to wear them and that they need to be 'freed' or 'rescued.' Some Muslim women enjoy the freedoms and ambiguities that come with wearing them, and that's their right. But this is coming from an American's (United Statesmen?) perspective, not a Frenchman's.

If it's a Man's World, I'll Immigrate to Venus

2010-04-20T22:45:00.000-07:00

I went through an ultra-feminist phase in high school and for some unknown reason, I drifted out of it during most of my college years. (One of the 7 wonders of the world, if you ask me.) Needless to say I've rekindled my feminist disposition and have compiled the following nonsensical yet probably very angry rant:

Why is it that I can't walk down a city street without being harassed by a male? I'm not talking assault, I'm talking cat calls. I'm talking guys making kissing noises as I walk by. I'm taking about blatant, open-mouthed stares even after I make eye-contact and roll my eyes. It's not just limited to the street, either--I'm talking about strange old men on the bus trying to make conversation with me because they have no other means of getting their jollies out. I'm talking about men old enough to be my father making eyes at me and smiling with their three remaining teeth. Dogs drool less than these neanderthals.

I'm sorry, I guess I missed the memo that women aren't people but pieces of meat (or candy, for all the vegetarians) merely floating down the street with no important destination. I probably also missed the notification that women are merely present for men's enjoyment. And I definitely missed the newsletter stating that women who dress provocatively are asking for 'that sort of attention.'

Oh wait a minute now that I think about it...I didn't miss those little reminders. Why? Because this is the 21st century and this misogynistic bs is nothing short of archaic. Or is it? That's what I hoped but I guess in the bubble we call college I lost touch with all the gender inequities that still exist today. I can't even get started on gender inequality on a global scale or how women on average make .80 cents for every 1 dollar a man brings in in America. What I'm talking about now is how irritating and despicable it is that I can't even walk down the street or ride the bus without being made uncomfortable or sometimes even fearful for my safety by some dirtbag who has no socially acceptable means of approaching a woman.

Sometimes I wish I could carry a collapsable 2x4 just so I can whip it out and DARE the jerk to do it again. You think that kissing noise you're making is funny? You think it's clever and cute? Does it make you feel manly and strong to do that to a girl who is by herself? Well how would it feel if this solid piece of wood made aggressive contact with the side of your face? Cuz I can tell you how that would make ME feel. You think that look you're giving me drives me wild? Do you think it's paralyzing me with desire? Do you think that stare is going to get you what you want? Well how about if your eyes only saw the inside of your rectum after your head gets shoved up your arse? How about that? Cuz that would definitely paralyze me...with laughter.

Other times I wish I'd stop fantasizing of all the things I could do or say and just do it. (Although I do risk sustaining physical injuries and/or worse, I'd just like to say). One day after a particularly long day at work I got on the bus and sat next to a man in his mid 40's - early 50's (my first mistake!). I could feel his stare but I decided to ignore it and continue listening to whatever rubbish I had blasting on my iPod until I heard him say something to me. "Oh, God," I thought. To pretend not to speak English or not? That was the question. Anyway, I pulled out an earbud (my second mistake) and said, "Sorry?" (Third mistake.) He made some excruciatingly stupid remark about how my bag matched my jacket and how I was "accessorizing", all accompanied of course by his smug and pervish smile. "Sure" was my clipped response and I immediately jammed that earbud back into my ear. Excuse me? I wanted to say. EXCUSE ME? Can I just ride the bus in PEACE and not deal with your manly bullshit after a day of dealing with other bullshit?! I'm not a toy, I'm not here for your entertainment, please don't insist on using me as a means of getting your jollies out by attempting to pursue the most pathetic and vapid conversation in the history of human communication. You're old, fat, probably balding, disgusting and just a couple years away from being totally incontinent.

You know what else bothers me about stuff like this, is that men almost NEVER have to deal with this. Do you think they get cat calls or women making kissing noises at them? Do you think they have to be concerned about who they sit next to on the bus or which streets they take to walk home? Do you think they stop and wonder, maybe this shirt shows off too much of my biceps, I shouldn't wear it or else I'll look slutty?

Ugh.

All I have to say is, if you're going to take the liberty to make me uncomfortable, then I'm going to take the liberty to give you my reaction--profanity and hand gestures included.

Virtual Insanity

2010-04-20T00:14:00.000-07:00

During my lunch break a few days ago, I was sitting in Union Square watching the people and tour buses go by when I noticed that a few of these tour buses were completely covered in an ad for the new Palm. The ad stated, "Life moves fast. Don't miss a thing. Palm." and was accompanied by a picture of a screen filled with windows of Facebook-esque status updates.

Is this what "living life" means now? I can't help but see the irony in being discouraged from letting life pass us by by being connected to something technological 24/7 . I understand the purpose and usefulness of PDA's and iPhones but in my opinion, they serve specific functions (ie to communicate). They are not, however, a window to the world...for me at least. (Maybe I'm not hip enough.)

Isn't life sometimes defined as having to do with living things? When I think of living life to the fullest, I think of spending time with friends and family, going on walks and hikes, realizing all the things you love about someone, eating good food, curling up with a good book...well, living life is obviously subjective but I can't imagine anyone considering it being so closely interwoven with the happenings of the virtual world.

I find that the younger generations are way more involved with the virtual world than we were while growing up. I often wonder--do little girls play with Barbies anymore? Do boys play catch outside anymore? Or have these things been taken over by the Wii and other video games? Do kids even ride bikes these days? Do they even chat on the phone? Or have these things been taken over by Facebook and text messages?

I'm going to be honest--I spend a lot of time on the Internet whether I mean to or not. But since graduating college I've made a conscious effort to minimize the time I spend surfing the web before real life passes me by, and before I know it everyone's grown up or gotten older and time has run out. I don't mean to be cliche or give myself moral high grounds by any means, I'm just saying that I've made a conscious effort to "live life to its fullest" outside of the Internet and technology because the truth of the advertisement is, life does move fast, but how you choose to keep it from passing you by is something different.

Until next time....hopefully I'll have finished a book or gone on a few walks....

2010-03-25T22:51:00.001-07:00

Does anyone else find it ironic that a girl from San Francisco left her heart in Ireland?

I watched "Visions of Ireland" with my mom this evening, and as aerial views of the Cliffs of Moher and the old monasteries filled the screen, I felt a deep sense of longing. Sorry to be corny, but it's true.

So the countdown begins...

I Guess It's No Secret...

2010-03-03T14:52:00.000-08:00

That Irish people are the friendliest!

aaaaand I love em. So much.

Why I liked '500 Days of Summer'

2010-02-17T23:17:00.000-08:00

So I saw the film '500 Days of Summer' last night for the first time, at a more than 6 month delay. As you may have guessed from the title of this blog, I thoroughly enjoyed it, and not just because Joseph Gordon-Levitt starred in it.

The movie appropriately opens with the words, "This is not a love story. This is a story about love." Anybody who has had any kind of romantic relationship knows that they hardly unfurl the way they do in movies--nobody has pulled me into a passionate kiss in the rain or chased a bus I was riding yelling 'I love you'. While I'm fully aware that my entire (love) life is ahead of me, I give this movie two major thumbs up in the accuracy department. It rightly called my attention to the incongruity in relationships, of one person being more invested than the other, of one having to carry emotional baggage longer than the other. It's like that line from the song by The Script, "When a heart breaks, no it don't break even." It's easy to slip into the mindset of equality when in a relationship, to assume that the status quo is to have things 50/50, that it's expected to meet each other halfway so to speak. Unfortunately this is doesn't often happen...or at least it hasn't happened to me anyway.

Both of the main characters, Tom and Summer, have elements we can all relate to. Tom meets Summer and is convinced she's 'The One', and pursues a monogamous committed relationship with her. Summer on the other hand is somewhat jaded--she has a hard time believing in true, undying love, and is in simplest terms somewhat of a commitment-phobe. She takes things at face value, for example when she's describing her past relationships to Tom, she explains that they ended because "life happened." Tom is more emotional--he loves Summer with all his heart and is nothing less of destroyed when she breaks it off with him.

I'm not saying that the relationship Tom and Summer share in this film is a cookie-cutter and dead ringer for every "real" (or non-Hollywood) relationship out there. I think the film did a great job of showing the ups and downs of not only a relationship, but its ugly aftermath, or what I like to call emotional casualties. After Summer breaks it off with Tom, he's heartbroken--he is destructive, bitter, angry, and jaded. His hurt feelings seem to dictate everything he does and how he acts. He isn't the Tom he was at the beginning of the movie. Even after he gets through the most stinging parts of the break up, he still misses her and wishes they could be together. It's emotional residue, the baggage you can't find a place to dump no matter how hard you try.

Not only does this film do a good job of portraying a realistic relationship and its unfortunate aftermath, but it shows that beautiful things can come from the ugly. I know that's corny but it's like Kate Nash said--you can grow flowers from where dirt used to be. After his nasty break up with Summer, Tom leaves his brutally mundane job at a greeting card company and begins to pursue a career in architecture, his real passion. There was no glamorous story of redemption of finding a beautiful rebound and sticking it to Summer, or having an unforgettable night on the town with the guys that magically erases all the emotional smudges. Tom did what humans have to do--move on and heal with time.

What I took away from watching this movie was something I think we've all noticed but perhaps haven't had the chance to acknowledge: that relationships aren't sunset perfect, that they go down just as often as they go up. They can be ridden with incongruities, of one person being more emotionally invested than the other, of both people messing up and not knowing what to do, of the whole thing ending without someone getting closure or really ever understanding why things happened the way they did. But (and I'm gonna bust out another corny line) when one door opens another one closes, and at the end of the day it's what we do with that experience that makes it what it is.

So for those of you who have found your near-perfect relationship, my hat goes off to you. And for those of you who haven't, we can continue to watch and see ourselves in Tom and Summer.

My Love-Hate Relationship With Facebook

2010-02-07T00:55:00.000-08:00

Oh Facebook, you irresistible devil, you. I'm going to be honest--I'm quite an avid Facebook user, to put it lightly. I'm going to go out on a limb and say most college students are. But what was initially a healthy, symbiotic love-affair has in recent years progressed into a tumultuous, ambivalent and sometimes even manipulative relationship.

When I first started my Facebook it was introduced to me as a social networking website designed specifically for college students. You even had to have an email that ended with ".edu" to open an account. It was love at first sight (or site? haha, too corny, my apologies): it was like a classier, more exclusive Myspace, one where I could remain in touch with my friends without necessarily impeding on their time and most importantly, without being borderline harassed by potential child molesters. No, Facebook was nothing like that awful place where people (who most likely had awful grammar) would incessantly post pictures of themselves in skanky outfits while the latest bubblegum pop song or mainstream (c)rap music song blared off of an mp3 player that froze my defenseless computer. With Facebook, everything was different, I could just feel it! I could see pictures of what my friends were doing, read their funny quotes, and tell them I was thinking about them--all without them needing to be present or providing a response. It's no surprise that Facebook proved invaluable in terms of communication when I lived abroad, as I could "stalk" or keep tabs on all of my beloveds regardless of the 8 hour time difference. I still remained a part of their lives without having to trouble them, and vice versa.

But Facebook and I unfortunately graduated from the honeymoon phase--it soon began to change its features in ways I could never have imagined. First it was the mini-feed. OK, I thought...it is definitely creepy but I can adjust. Then it took things a bit further when it became public, at which point I admit, I felt a little betrayed. For everyone?! But...I thought this was special! Then even stranger things started happening, in what became a painfully rapid progression. People from my past whom I'd never cared were allowed to get in between us. Then these extraneous applications began to bombard my homepage. Sorry, I'm not really interested in playing Vampires...or Zombies...or Pirates. (Note: bumper stickers are exempt from my disdain for applications; they're too funny!...and Non-intrusive.) Then I started to see a myriad of faces--some familiar, some not--that Facebook thought I should be friends with. "Telling me what to do now, are you?" I thought. If only I could do the same...

I still appreciate and begrudgingly love Facebook for all of the positive things it provides ie the ability to keep in touch with my friends that I don't get to see very often. I even don't mind that my entire family is on Facebook--it is after all, a social networking site. But what I absolutely can't stand is the way what used to be basic functions have now become frustrating and difficult, while I'm constantly barraged by things I could give a shit less about. It's still difficult for me to find the exact place to post an album of photos or to upload a video, and God knows how long it took me to find the marketplace. But right on my homepage are people I might want to reconnect with and all the fun little quizzes I can take when I'm experiencing another identity crisis. Don't you think if I wanted to friend that creeper from high school I would have done so already? Stop insisting! It honestly feels like nagging. That goober with the horrible grammar changed their status again? Let me not care. You're from Estonia so clearly we've never met but you want to be friends? Sounds great, so much could come of that relationship! 20 other people commented on my friend's status? YES! Let me go read them all and then friend them afterwards!

I've made it a new rule to only accept requests from people I know and care about. So if we've only met once way back when and haven't seen each other since, you're cut. I especially hate it when people send you a request based on association. For example, this girl who also studied abroad in Ireland (but at a different university) friended me. I thought maybe we'd met before as we had a mutual friend, but that I had forgotten her so I sent her a message asking her what was up. She never responded. I wanted to cyber-slap that girl across the face. This is NOT Myspace--I am not going to be your friend and in doing so give you access to my information "just 'cause." I'm not that desperate for your affiliation, or for my number of friends to increase to 18, 695 to impress other people I'll never meet in my life. I like to think that Facebook was created originally to allow college students to keep in touch with each other regardless of their distant locations, not to become cyber attention-whores, combing through networks of randoms to add to their inflated lists of "friends" they haven't the slightest idea about.

(Sigh). I mean honestly Facebook....I wish we could just take things back to how they used to be, before they got so complicated....before you changed overnight. I just feel like I can't trust you anymore, as if your intentions have changed. Call me sentimental but I just wish we could take it back to simpler times...

Perhaps It's Time For EFL Classes?

2010-02-02T20:53:00.000-08:00

I think it's safe to say most of us are familiar with ESL classes--you know, the classes that people take when English isn't their first language (poor things!). What I'm suggesting we make equally available is an EFL class. You know, English as a FIRST Language because it seems to be an epidemic (move aside, obesity?) among people our age to be cursed with the inability to use their first language, English, properly--mainly in the most rudimentary ways.

I'm well aware that I'm a bit of a grammar stickler and I am, to a certain extent, absolutely shameless about it. I'm the kind of person who will mentally pick out grammatical errors when reading letters or engaged in an argument. Some might call it petty, nit-picky, or just downright obnoxious. I like to think of it as something of a nervous twitch, a bad habit similar to nail biting that I just haven't had the strength to kick, but I digress. I understand that it isn't always necessary to call out someone's grammar mistakes--there's definitely a time and a place, and I'd be inexplicably intolerable (and most likely friendless) if I was going around policing peoples' conversations. But elementary grammatical errors seem to be popping up like daisies in casual conversation often enough that I think something must be said and more importantly, done about it.

Why is this important if it's only casual conversation, you might wonder? Well, casual isn't synonymous with or an excuse to be incorrect. The way we verbally represent ourselves is nothing short of crucial--it's how we get jobs, make friends, connect with lovers, and most importantly, communicate what's going on in our creative little brains. It's how we portray who we are, to say the least. I don't mean to pick on people who don't consider themselves articulate; we all have our strengths and weaknesses. But this variance in levels of verbal strength just reinforces the importance of having a strong understanding of the fundamentals of our first language.

I'd also like to clarify that my issue isn't with slang or even text message language; we needn't always be speaking in our utmost professional and proper tongues. My issue is with people who for some reason or another, have left behind their knowledge of the basics of grammar in whatever grade it is that they learned them in.

The most common and blood-curdling mistakes tend to be the following:

-Confusion regarding 'your' and 'you're' (I nearly convulse in fits of rage when having the misfortune of coming across this mistake..)

-Misuse of 'their','they're' and 'there' (I'm beginning to think most people interpret all of these as having the same meaning. If this isn't actually the case, I'm going to tell myself it is for the sake of my own sanity.)

-The appropriate use of 'me' and 'I': This mistake might deserve the gold medal in the grammatical error olympics, not just because of its commonality but also because of its caliber of offensiveness. There was a time when for some mystifying reason people began to think that putting captions that read "My sister and I" for photos was grammatically correct. You wouldn't title a photo of just yourself as, "I", but rather "me," so if you want to sound as if you've got one modicum of intelligence for God's sake use the latter form.

-The use of a/an (Ugh! Really?)

-The use of is/are (Please excuse me while I find a grammar book to smack you with.)

But the point I'm trying to make isn't regarding the specific mistakes per se, but about re-educating ourselves for the sake of our own well-being and in some cases, survival. To be able to use one's first language properly should be one of Maslow's 5 basic human needs, and I don't mean that dramatically at all. It's doubly embarrassing to meet people from other countries who speak English better as their second language than people I've gone to junior high school with. It's simply inexcusable. But perhaps the failures of the (public) education system in this country is a blog for another day...

Allyson's Lecture Etiquette

2010-01-22T13:19:00.000-08:00

While I was abroad I forgot the many highly obnoxious things that people do whilst in lecture. How did I forget, one might wonder? Because--and bear with me as this might be a novel concept--people in other countries act like adults when they're in college. Anywho, since coming back I've been reminded of these annoying things and have since pinpointed them and devised what I like to call 'lecture etiquette.'

1) If you are not left handed, do not oust a lefty out of a left-handed desk: OK. I've come to terms with the fact that the majority of the world is right-handed, and as a result, approximately 10 left-handed desks are installed per 200-3oo right-handed desks. This is fair. I've also come to terms with the fact that because lefties are a minority, we are not often considered when people choose a seat, and right-handed people are going to end up in left-handed desks just because of numbers. This is understandable. But what is neither fair nor understandable is when right-handed people hog left-handed desks even after they notice a left-handed person in need. I've experienced this first hand (no pun intended) too many times to count. The first day of this quarter I arrived to a lecture early only to find that all of the (6) left-handed desks were taken. When I asked a fellow student if he needed his desk because of his handedness, he said yes. Another student who overheard this exchange merely gave me an inquisitive stare from his left-handed desk, trying to predict if I'd ask him the same. As I judged him after noticing his right hand gripping his unnecessarily fancy pen, I decided to skip over him--fine, I thought, keep your stupid aisle seat if you must, you greedy inconsiderate. Karma will eventually bite you in your left-desk hogging ass. Just then however, I noticed a newly freed left-desk and rushed to it, only to be beat by some girl who charged into it mere seconds before I could--"Are you left handed?" I fired, having lost all patience. "Yes....er, no." Pardon? I thought. Was that a confusing question? Or were you really just about to lie to me to get an aisle seat? "Did you want to sit here?" She asked. No! I'm just a social degenerate and have no other means of starting conversation with people. "Yes," I replied. And get this: she moved into a different seat. Imagine! While I am still thankful for that girl who moved into another seat, I was baffled by the trouble I had to go through just to sit in an appropriate desk. What's the deal with right-handed people sitting those desks anyway? It's uncomfortable having to hunch over your opposite hand for 45 minutes. I get that it's an aisle seat, but most of the time there are two aisles, in which case you can go sit on the right-handed one. Didn't make it to class on time to snag one? Too bad, you're a majority so you automatically have more choices. Since that incident I've made it a point to arrive to lecture at least 10 minutes early (which some might say I should have been doing anyway) so as to snag a lefty desk without having to right hook someone for it. My advice? Avoid sitting in a left-handed desk, especially if you arrive early--you never know who you're ousting out of a seat. And for pete's sake, if you notice a lefty asking for a desk, get up and move to one of those bajillions of other desks, if there's room. Those lefty desks weren't built for decoration; lefties DO exist.

2) If you come to class, shut up. Especially when the professor (or whoever is leading the class) begins talking: This one is so basic, yet the most problematic. There is an alarming number of individual lectures I've attended where people--not just girls—wouldn’t shut up. I'm sorry, are you confused as to what this is? Did you mistake this for coffee talk? Why even bother coming to class if all you’re going to do is chat the entire way through? I find this annoying not only because it’s rude and disrespectful towards the professor but because it affects everyone else. I didn’t come to class to hear about your new job or how that frat guy never returned your calls (inconsiderate jerk!). I’m here to attempt to absorb some information, God forbid. If you’re showing up to lecture without obtaining anything, be quiet, or don’t even bother coming—at least you’ll spare the rest of us your obnoxious yapping. News flash: gossip isn’t like urine; you won’t get an infection if you hold it in for a while. Last quarter I was in a smaller lecture with this group of guys who would—and I kid you not—hoot and holler at every other word the professor managed to get out. It got to the point where another male student had to turn around and say, “Guys, this is college, have some respect.” I mean for Christ’s sake, if lecture isn’t being mistaken for Starbucks or tea-time, it’s being mistaken for a sandbox where it’s still socially acceptable to grunt and have your finger in your nose. It’s appalling in some cases, really. I mean…isn’t college supposed to be a transition into adulthood? Are you going to make Neanderthal noises during an interview? A press conference? My advice: shut up, or don’t show up.

2b) Don't freaking whisper, either: While it is mind-numbingly obnoxious when people talk during lecture, it might even be more so when people whisper. Are you serious? If you think whispering makes less noise than talking, you got into college by some unfathomable miracle. The hissing noise whispering makes is just as audible, if not louder, than someone speaking in a low tone. We're not stupid, you talkaholics--we can still hear your whispers, and it's still annoying as hell. What's worse is that people often times find it more appropriate to whisper during section or seminar classes when there's 25-30 people because ironically, they don't want to be a disturbance. "There's fewer people, we're in a smaller venue, so we'd better whisper so nobody can hear us." Are you kidding me? Or rather, are you kidding yourselves? Even if you're discussing the material, which is a common excuse when these offenders are called out, why don't you do it in a way where we can all participate? Or, novel idea again--save it for later! This is, I repeat, CLASS TIME. Shut. Up. Or if it's that urgent, pass a note--that way you're only impeding your own education.

3) Turn your phone on silent: So basic, yet so easily forgotten. I understand that as humans we're forgetful and often times when we're in lecture we're flustered or tired or in some cases (esp. here), we're hungover. Everybody makes mistakes, and people are generally quick enough to catch their phones before one full line of "Party in the USA" penetrates a silent lecture hall. What I don't understand is the people who immediately silence their phone, and then 30 seconds later the text message/voicemail alert goes off, or better yet, it starts to ring again. Did you forget in those mere seconds to actually turn your phone on silent?? Were you so embarrassed after the first time that you went right back to furiously writing notes without eliminating the problem that caused all this in the first place? The only comforting thing about this issue is that we've all become so accustomed to it happening that it only disrupts a lecture for a few moments. My advice? Make turning your phone on silent one of the first things you do after taking a seat. (I'm also well aware that the buzzing noise phones make while on silent are often times just as loud--that's an ode to you, whisperers--but, I'll take what I can get).

4) Keep your nasty crustaceans off the back of my seat: Here in the Barbs we're blessed with glorious, sunny weather. But what comes with this sunny weather is feet without shoes. While I understand that my aversion to feet is my own problem, it's still rude to find that your notes are beginning look like you wrote them underwater because some inconsiderate HAS to have their foot on your seat and HAS to jiggle it. I guess what most people forget is that in lecture halls, seats are often conjoined...in ROWS. I like to think they also forget that you can feel pressure on the back of your seat--even if it is just your back!! So when one nervous nelly or calorie burning fiend has to get their daily dose of leg jiggles, or flex their calves in what is the small of your back, an entire row suffers as does your patience and concentration. What's even worse (I shudder at the thought) is when people put their nearly naked feet on the back of your armrest or over the empty seat next to you. While it's likely that your disgusting feet are paying more attention than you are, I don't think it's acceptable to make your hairy toes my next door neighbor. My advice? Keep your feet on the ground where they belong, or if you must, put your feet up when nobody is sitting in the surrounding 3-5 seats. Gross!!

Gorgeous Sunset

2010-01-09T21:00:00.001-08:00

the beauty of The Barbs

2010-01-07T17:08:00.001-08:00

I know I've complained about it in the past, but...Santa Barbara is a byooteeful place. I went on a 45 minute run through the bluffs yesterday and it was gorgeous! While it's not Ireland, it certainly isn't a terrible place to be..

courtesy of Santa Claus for endowing me with a new digital camera :)

For 2010

2010-01-05T09:43:00.000-08:00

Hey maybe if I keep this up, I'll develop a habit of blogging every 6 months! But seriously, Happy New Year and I hope we all had a chance to welcome it with those we love.

With a new year comes a curiosity at what the next 12 months holds--at least for me it does, so I've been perusing horoscopes claiming to predict the year for aquarians. While I am definitely skeptical of horoscopes (as in I would read each with a grain of salt), I've come across some interesting bits that have allowed me to envision a pushing off point (if you will) for self-change.

Aquarians are generally concerned with human rights but can be aloof in close, interpersonal social situations. I think one of my problems has been finding the negative in human nature and allowing it to get me down and to become jaded about people overall while overlooking just how incredible the people surrounding me are. Sure, there are inexplicably awful things that people do to each other out there in the big bad world, but there are innumerable beautiful things that people do for each other as well. I think it's high time I wane myself off of focusing on the negative and instead focus on how wonderful the people around me are and learn from and appreciate them.

Aquarians don't give themselves easily, but when they do find people they like, friends or more, they pour everything into those relationships. As a result, they are often disappointed because they hold everyone else to their high personal ideals. This has been and still is a huge issue of mine--expecting too much from people and demanding that they operate in the same way I do. This of course is unfair and unreasonable, as humans are inherently different. I think what will be important for me to do is to turn inwards for self-cultivation instead of wondering why people can't be more like me. I think Michael Jackson was onto something when he said, "I'm starting with the man in the mirror; I'm asking him to change his ways." And I GUESS Gandhi knew what was up when he said "Be the change you wish to see in the world." OK so you might be wondering if I've gone barreling down Cliche Lane in an attempt to reach Peace Of Mind, but I've found that self-awareness is one of the most valuable personal traits someone can have. The sooner you realize your faults and strengths, the sooner you can be a better friend and citizen of the world. Is she talking nonsense, one might ask? Perhaps! But I've noticed that the friends I have who are more aware of themselves have a better grip on life and its potential overall. They can play on their strengths while managing their weaknesses. I think one can discover a lot by looking inward and sorting out all those impulsive attributes. I think people who are less aware of themselves are like floating heads; they act only on impulse because they can't visualize the affects of their physical person, and they can't see further than their own nose.

I think significant change is brought on by the individual, whether that change is on a personal or global social scale. No one person can move a mountain (see Obama), but we can, as a collective of smaller things, create something truly titanic. The key to even these small changes however, lies in our own self-cultivation--in realizing our strengths, weaknesses, potential and shortcomings. You can only help someone else as well as you can help yourself.

My New Year's resolutions involve cultivation within a smaller sphere--meaning that I don't plan on ignoring the big picture, or the issues of the world, or the things that go around me. I mean turning inward and working on myself instead of focusing on the shortcomings of others. I mean loving those who are close to me instead of focusing on the negative in people on a bigger scale. I mean separating myself from the negative things people have done to me instead of promising myself that I'll put them in their place. I have this dreadful misconception that I am in fact, Captain Justice herself and therefore have the right and the grounds to put people in their places. I've often become so caught up in how people have wronged or hurt me because I feel like it's my duty to make them feel wrong, to have the moral high ground and the upper hand and to get the reward of an apology. But at the end of the day, people are going to be who they are--they're going to fuck up, they're going to think of themselves, they're going to do what they want. And that's OK--it's not my God-given duty to change that. You can be whoever you want, but whether or not you get included in someone's life and personal sphere is a different story.

Thanks for reading if you've made it this far, and Happy 2010 to you. Wish me luck!

Contributions:

+"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are stronger at the broken places" Hemingway

+The God of Small Things - novel by Arundhati Roy

+http://www.astrology-online.com/aquarius.htm

introductions

2009-06-20T19:00:00.000-07:00

where do i begin? well for starters, every title i bribed my 3 functioning neurons to create for this thing seems to be very cheesy, so you'll have to try and get past that. this blog isn't meant to induce any kind of change: i just got flustered by all the names i had to crank out in order to begin writing (or blabbing, whichever you find more accurate). i'm not some political revolutionary, or any kind of revolutionary for that matter, i just enjoy puns.

shall we hop on the train back from tangent land?

i don't know if it's my unemployment, my recently developed opinions after my year abroad, or my falsely perceived significance, but i suddenly have a lot of things to say...and on top of that, i suspect someone out there cares to hear it (or read it)! i suppose that's what these blogs are all about.

so we've made it out of tangent land, but haven't quite gotten across the border of yawnville.

anyway, i figured i'd find an outlet for all these thoughts that isn't from the stone age (sorry xanga). if i didn't, i'd probably walk the streets screaming all my jumbled and explosive thoughts in a tourettes-like fashion ("free iran scary flight never know asshole europe is fantastic shit!)

knowing my habits, perhaps some time this century i'll blog here again!